


Fire and Ice

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 18:59:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18394397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: The Centauri mess with Marcus' mind.





	Fire and Ice

Fire and ice 

 

DISCLAIMER. THESE CHARACTERS ARE ALL PROPERTY OF JMS, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED. STORY; NC-17

 

The staff meeting had been purely routine and Susan Ivanova was thankful that she didn’t have to pay too much attention to it. She was tired. She had been on call for the last 24 hours and things had been hectic on the station. There had been the usual brawls and fights and she had sent most of the brawlers and their victims to Stephen to get their wounds treated or for getting them sobered up.

She shifted her gaze from John to Michael. The Chief of security looked almost as tired as she was feeling. The days before Christmas were normally very upsetting for the inhabitants of Down Below. They felt like they had lost their bond with Earth and their loved ones. Susan forced herself to listen to John's voice. She couldn't wait to get off duty and have a long rest.

“ That's it for today. Zack Allen and Lt. Corwin get the Christmas shift this year. Staff members will have to remain available, but with some luck we might get the day for ourselves.” Captain John Sheridan got to his feet and shot a look full of love at Delenn. He decided that Delenn and he were going to spend Christmas together in her quarters.

The meeting came to an end and Susan walked to the door. She just wanted to relax in her room, preferently with a bottle of vodka.

"Susan, wait for me!"

She sighed. Marcus always knew when to start annoying her. "Marcus, get lost, I'm tired." She wasn't in the mood to put up with him. Not now, she wanted peace and quiet for once.

Marcus grinned in an ominous way. Susan had often told him he was a pain in the arse and he intended to live up to that reputation. For some reason he was feeling very wicked today. He had slept extremely well, dreaming of Susan Ivanova. During the meeting he had noticed her absent-minded behavior. He couldn't help wondering what was wrong. He was catching up swiftly to Susan. She started to walk a lot faster, obviously trying to avoid him. But now he was even more determined to get her to talk to him. "Susan, would you do me the honor of sharing a drink with me before you head to your place? Please, please, please?"

She shot him a glare and he tried his best to look lost. He had discovered that she couldn't stand that look. His heart was racing like an engine and it even stopped beating for a second when she looked at him in a devious way. He scanned the surroundings for an escape route in case he had to make a run for it. They had reached the elevator and checking for the other participants of the meeting, he saw they had fallen way behind. He didn't know where he found the courage to ask her, but right now he wished he could make himself invisible. Susan watched him as a predator eyed its victim. Damn, he was feeling very uncomfortable.

Susan was thinking about his offer. Normally she would refuse, but she was in a peculiar mood today; she missed her family, the closeness of another. She saw Marcus grow anxious as time passed by. Hell, why not? She knew Marcus almost a year now and she considered him a friend. She was only surprised that he wanted to spend this precious time being with her. What about his ladylove he had told her about? "Alright, Marcus. You win. Let's go to Balfour's. You buy the vodka.'' She watched his face taking on a look of pleasant surprise. She was sure he never expected her to accept his offer.

Marcus forgot to breathe for just a second. Had she just said yes? He couldn't believe this was actually happening! He had spent all day rehearsing this question in his mind, over and over again. He could not be this lucky. Was she letting her guard down?

They got into the lift and as it began to make its way to Brown 22 to get them to the bar, he had an opportunity to watch her face. She was still a bit withdrawn, but he would see to it that she was going to have a Christmas, or Hanukah as she called it, to remember. A plan formed in his mind.

It wasn't yet very crowded in the bar. Most people were together with their loved ones as Christmas was approaching. He led her to a table in the back of the pub. When she was seated, he got her a glass of vodka. He ordered some tea for himself. He noted the look of disapproval as he put down the tea.

" Don't you ever drink alcohol, Cole? " Susan grinned at him as she drank the vodka. A second later her glass was empty again. She beckoned the waitress to get her a new drink. She came here often and the waitress knew what to bring the Commander.

" You know, you could drink less, or try some tea." Marcus didn't like her drinking this much. He knew it was her way to escape reality, but he also knew that reality would catch up with her after the alcohol wore off. He wanted to help her so badly, if only she would let him.

'' Come on, Marcus. It's almost Hanukah and that's the most depressing time around." She got hold of her drink and rushed it down her throat. She wanted to get drunk, to stop thinking of her family, her mother, Talia. They were all dead now. She beckoned the waitress again. She put the empty glass aside and grabbed the refill. Marcus' heart started bleeding, seeing her as lost as she was. " By the way, how are your memories of Christmas, Hanukah? Sorry, always seem to forget you're Jewish. On our colony we never celebrated it. I wonder how you celebrated it in Russia?” He knew he was getting near to the danger zone, if her memories were unpleasant. He was relieved to see that nobody was blocking the exit. He could get away if necessary.

Susan, rushing down her fourth vodka now, was losing track. What did he want to know? Oh, yeah, she could tell him. " Hanukah was a great time when my mother was still alive. We would get into the kitchen to make some blini's. After we ate I got a little present. I once got a doll that could talk. I had it for years. It was fun while she was still alive."

Marcus heard the hidden pain in her voice, but he now knew enough to make his plan work. She was getting sleepy because of the vodka. She couldn't fight her tiredness any longer. He got up from his seat and went over to a Minbari ranger who was sitting in a corner of the bar. Nasrook listened to the request Marcus made and nodded his approval. As Marcus hurried off to meet one of his contacts he was sure that Susan would be watched over by his fellow Minbari ranger.

 

Marcus' mind was working overtime. So much to do and so little time to get things done! Where to start? He had talked a long time with his contact in Down Below. His contact had assured him that he could get all the goods that Marcus wanted within the set time span. His contact, a Narn, would get to work at once. Marcus then headed to Mr. Garibaldi's quarters. He needed his help in this case. He was glad to find Michael still awake and in a fairly relaxed mood.

" Come on in, Marcus. Why the visit?" Michael saw the ranger's mind was set on something. He had known Marcus long enough to know that something was up.

" Michael, I need your help." Marcus just now realized that he had acted without thinking by coming here. He had to be honest with Michael and that was not going to be easy for him.

" Yes?" Michael decided not to make things too complicated for Marcus. He liked the ranger, but sometimes Marcus acted like a real nag.

" I want to arrange a little Christmas.... Hanukah surprise for our Commander, but I need your help to access her quarters." This was it, if Michael protested....

But Garibaldi was in a playful mood. Susan had pulled his leg too many times; this was his chance to get even with her. " No problem, consider it done."

Marcus decided not to question his luck; he had so much left to do. " I will meet you there in..... let's say 2 hours?"

Michael nodded; he was wondering what Marcus was up to. If it would annoy Susan he would be satisfied. Marcus left in a hurry. He knew that Marcus had fallen in love with Susan and if he had to be completely honest, he pitied Marcus. Susan wouldn't lower her walls for anyone.

Marcus was working himself into frenzy. The Narn had already brought some of the groceries he needed. Marcus didn't ask how the Narn got the stuff he had ordered. Now the next step; he was in need for a kitchen. He searched his mind, who would play along? The answer came up at once.

"Oh, Lennier, are you in?"

 

Susan woke up because there was a brawl starting. As soon as she woke she wished she were still asleep. Normally she wouldn't mind falling asleep, but she had been in the company of Marcus. She hated to give him the chance on lecturing her on the disadvantages of alcohol. Next time, she decided she would order caff. She looked up and was surprised to notice that Marcus had gone. She was sitting all alone at her table. Well, she couldn't blame the ranger for leaving. Drunk, she was bad company. Being asleep she was even worse. She looked casually at the big clock hanging over the entrance at the bar. She simply couldn't believe her eyes. If the time on the clock was correct, she had been out for about eleven hours. She wondered why nobody had woken her. And where was Marcus?

 

Managing to get to her feet, she found that she was reasonably rested. She scanned the bar for familiar faces, but there was only a Minbari ranger sitting there. But she did notice the hint of a smile on his face. **Rangers, they can never be trusted, one’s probably worse than the other! And Marcus is the worst of all of them! ** She walked to the counter. She still had to pay for her drinks.

" It's alright Commander. Marcus has already paid for your drinks."

She mumbled something the barkeeper couldn't understand. She made her way through the bar to the exit. She just wanted to get home and have a nice shower.

Nasrook watched her as she departed. His thoughts were circling around Marcus. He hoped that his fellow ranger hadn't gotten himself into any trouble.

As she made her way home, she encountered nobody. Everybody was celebrating the feast in his or her own way. Briefly, she wondered how Marcus would spend the evening. She dismissed the thought as she arrived at her door. She entered her password; UNICORN. She was sure nobody would guess it. She frowned as she entered the living area. She thought she was losing her mind, this could not be happening!

She looked in sheer amazement at what had been her quarters. In the center of the room stood a real pine tree. It was decorated with shiny strings of paper and there were some real candles burning, stuck to the branches of the tree. Suddenly she noticed the string of lights that had been hung at her ceiling. It looked like a heaven of stars. Slowly she approached the tree. She could smell the aroma of real pine. She reached out and touched one of the strings of paper. This was so unreal. Then, she smelled something else. She followed the scent and found, hidden away under the tree, a tray filled with little pancakes. " Blini's." The moment she said the word everything fell into place. She had only told one person of her former Hanukahs. " Marcus, you're in big trouble." She spoke the words aloud without knowing it. She decided on her actions immediately and stormed out of her quarters.

 

Marcus looked around and couldn't believe the mess he had made; trying to make those evil little Russian pancakes.

" I do hope you are going to clean this up. If Delenn sees this chaos..." Lennier wondered why he had given Marcus permission to abuse his kitchen.

" It's all for a good cause, Lennier. Perhaps you should try to see the bright side of it. Now you know how to make pancakes too." Marcus couldn't help laughing. He knew Minbari hated disorder, but the look on Lennier's face was something to remember. He hated to leave Lennier's kitchen behind in this condition, but he had to make sure he was in a safe place when Susan came looking for him.

" Actually, I am sure the Commander will think of an excellent punishment for you for turning my kitchen and her living quarters inside out." Lennier noted the strangled look on Marcus' face. Lennier knew Marcus loved Susan Ivanova. But a woman who told newcomers to Babylon 5 that she was God was a bit too much to handle in Lennier's way of thinking.

" I just hope she will let me live. Susan once threatened to rip my lungs out and have them for dinner, if I didn't do what she wanted me to do."

"Which was?" Lennier asked curiously.

" To get out of her live, if I remember correctly." Marcus answered the question softly, realizing what might happen if Susan didn't like the surprise.

"You better leave now while it is still safe." Lennier wondered what this human love was all about. " I will clean up the kitchen, just get out now." Lennier noticed the hurry in which Marcus left and couldn't hide his smile any longer.

 

Marcus had made himself comfortable in his room. He had pulled up a chair an installed himself in front of the media wall. A Christmas Carol, written by his loved author Charles Dickens was shown tonight and he wanted to watch it. But first he switched off the door chime. He didn't want the angry spirit of Christmas present in his quarters, thinking of Susan.

Then he searched his med kit. He had burned his right arm trying to make the pancakes. He was a terrible cook and he knew it. Hadn't it been for Lennier's help, he would have burned down the entire kitchen. "Damn, no more ointment inside." He had used it all. He considered briefly going to Stephen and getting some from him, but he didn't want to disturb him on Christmas Eve. He sighed and with a wet towel draped over the burn, he sat down to watch his favorite Christmas program. He yawned, realizing how tired he was. He had just returned from a mission Delenn had sent him on and this was his first chance to get some shuteye.

Little was he aware of the fact that Susan had arrived at his door. She tried the door chime, but discovered it had been disabled. She decided on the direct approach. " System override, authority code Ivanova 1." There were certain advantages to being second in command. A wicked smile crept across her face.

" Code accepted." The computer opened the door at once. Susan didn't hesitate for one second. She stormed into Marcus' room.

Marcus was taken by surprise, how was it possible that the door had opened? The answer to his question marched into his room. He saw the look on her face. He was in hell and his personal nemesis had arrived. The worst thing about it was that there was no way of escape. Quickly, he threw away the wet towel and stood up. This was going to be painful... " What a pleasure to have you visit me on this evening." Marcus decided to pretend being innocent, but he feared that it wouldn’t work.

"Marcus, cut the crap, you know why I am here. What have you done to my quarters?"

Marcus looked at her. Her eyes were shooting fire, her face shined a golden color and she was stamping loudly with her foot. She looked truly amazing to him. He loved her; she did enchant him looking this way. Marcus didn't know what to say. Normally he would start babbling, but this time he was lost for words. He was trying to memorize the way she looked. He didn't want to forget this sight.

Susan stared at him. He stood there like a lost child, wanting to hide behind his mother's skirts. Suddenly she realized that she didn't want him to view her in that way. She didn't want to make him afraid. Why was she acting like this? Surprised, she glanced at his arm. She saw the burn; crimson red. She smiled. She remembered how she had tried tasting blini's when she was only 4 years old. Her mother had caught her when she tasted the pancake while it was still in the pan. She had been startled and while trying to get away she had burnt one of her fingers. She knew his burn would hurt a lot. Smelling the scent of pancakes on him, her mood softened. He had only been trying to do her a favor. But why her, why not surprise the woman he was waiting for? She forced herself to stop pondering and walked towards him. She could see him searching for a way to get out of here. " You should do something about that burn."

Marcus swiftly rolled down his sleeve. " It's nothing." He was looking at her, trying to find out in what kind of mood she was.

" Stephen should take a look at it."

Marcus' internal alarm started to go off, as she got even closer to him. She looked like a predator. " Give Stephen some time off. It's Christmas Eve. This can wait until tomorrow." Marcus shrugged. He had been too often, too long in med lab anyway.

"You won't get out of this one so easily. I expect you in my quarters in 30 minutes. I can't eat all those pancakes by my own."

Marcus distrusted his ears. Was she inviting him over on Christmas Eve?

" Don't leave me waiting otherwise I will force-feed those pancakes to you when I find you!" Susan laughed, seeing his perplexed face. She liked him a lot; he was the only one who had thought about her being alone. It was a shame he loved a different woman. She turned and walked out of his quarters. She didn't plan on going straight to her own.

Marcus stayed behind in a state of shock. He couldn't believe that she had not put him on a torture rack. Instead she had invited him to have dinner with her. He was shaking and trembling, afraid she had found another way of getting even with him, luring him in a trap of her own.

 

Susan now regretted setting the 30 minutes time span. She was almost running to the nearest pub. The barkeeper was just cleaning up, about to close the place. "Freeze!" Susan shouted.

The barkeeper recognized the voice immediately and got gooseflesh all over his body. The tone of the Commander's voice predicted trouble.

"Glenn, I want a bottle of white wine and a bottle of red wine, at once."

" But Commander..."

" No but, you will give them to me now or I'll send all those brawlers up to your place." While saying this, she smiled delighted. She wanted to surprise Marcus as well. Two could play this game. She saw that the barkeeper had given in and was now checking out his private stock in the backroom. Her thoughts drifted to the Christmas tree and the blini's. She would never have expected him to do such a thing for her. Suddenly there was that little voice in the corner of her mind screaming for her attention. She knew one of these inner discussions with herself was coming up; she hated those. ** What do you want? **

**Aren't you overlooking something? **

**What? **

**Marcus said he was in love with someone, but hadn't yet told that person. What if this person is you? **

**Me? You must be kidding! **

**Why? He spent all his time making sure you would have a great Hanukah. **.

**Shut up! ** Susan ended the argument she was having with herself. At moments like these, she thought she was going mad. But that inner voice did have a point. But was she ready to accept that?

"Commander, 2 bottles of my best wine." The barkeeper handed them over reluctantly. They would have made a great price on the black market.

" Thanks." Lost in her world, she got hold of the two bottles and left the bar behind. She walked straight to her quarters. Good, no sign of Marcus yet. She stood there and watched that gorgeous tree with all those candles. She felt like a child again. He had made her feel like that. She realized he had made her feel again, period. He made her laugh, although he was annoying as hell. She swiftly got out of her uniform and picked some sweats to get dressed in. At times like these she wished she possessed a gorgeous dress, but a girl couldn't have everything. She walked to her kitchen and started setting the table. She almost forgot the wine and quickly she got the glasses out. She looked at the table from a little distance. The napkins! She hurried to get some. She was almost done now, but a disturbing thought entered her mind. She wanted to give him a present as well. But what?

 

Marcus was pacing the corridor, looking at her door. He had put on his spare ranger uniform, the one without the stains from making blini's and had hurried to get to her quarters on time. He still couldn’t believe she had invited him over. His mind was one big mess. How to act, what to say? He wanted to run. "Get your act together, it's not like your fighting Neroon to death." He was babbling again, with no one to hear his words besides him. " Admit, you would rather be killed by Neroon than going to see Susan Ivanova." Marcus took a deep, deep breath a decided he had to make a stand. If he let this chance get away... would he ever get another?

" She wants you here, otherwise she wouldn't have asked you to come over. She had a chance to rip my lungs out. That must mean something...but what?" Marcus walked over to the door. This was his moment of truth. He rang the door chime. The door opened and he gathered all his courage when he entered her quarters. Filled with an immense sense of caution, he took a first step into the room. Susan was nowhere in sight. A surge of relief passed quickly trough him. He peeked at the tree and the lights they had hung at the ceiling. He had to admit that his contact had lived up to what he had promised. He felt a bit melancholy. His parents had never celebrated Christmas, but he heard stories about Santa Claus from his friends whose parents did have a Christmas party. He wondered where Susan was, but he didn't feel the need to call her name. He was afraid that this was just delaying the execution Susan had in mind for him. He stayed close to the door, just in case...

" Sit down and make yourself comfortable, I'll be with you in a minute."

Susan's voice took him by surprise. If his instincts were still operating correctly he would say that her voice sounded quite cheerful. Then he noticed the set table and the 2 bottles of wine. He hoped she wasn't planning on getting him drunk. With a deep sigh he sat down on the couch, it was too late to run anyway.

Susan made her way out of the bedroom. She saw him sitting on the couch with a very disturbed look on his face. ** Do I scare him that much? ** " Glad you could make it in time. I hope I didn't ruin any plans you had for this evening?"

Marcus got to his feet and she walked towards him. " Not really, I only had a date with Charles Dickens."

" No plans tonight for visiting your ladylove?" She knew she was playing a foul game, but she had to see his reaction to her question. She had to know if her suspicions were correct. Marcus felt his face betray him, flashing to a distinct red color. " No plans." That was all he managed to say. After all, it wasn't a lie. It was her having a plan for tonight.

" Marcus, do me a favor?" She walked over to the tree and started playing with the colored ribbons.

" What kind of favor?" He felt trapped.

“ Relax a bit. I am not going to devour you and spit your guts out again." The moment she said the words, she regretted them. Such words would hardly convince him that he wasn't in danger. She saw him swallow; he seemed to get even tenser. " I promise to behave like a good girl, Marcus." She saw him struggling with his feelings; could she be trusted? Susan went to the table and gestured him to join her. He moved very slowly, almost like he didn't want to get any closer to her. She realized she had to be really careful. Earlier on she had decided to let the walls down. The walls she had built to protect herself from ever getting hurt again. When she looked at him she knew she was doing the right thing; giving him a chance. As he sat down, she realized she was actually enjoying his company. He seemed lost for words. Normally he would babble all the time. " What wine do you prefer, red or white?" She wanted him to calm down a bit and perhaps the wine would do the trick.

" Guess you have no Earl Grey?"

" No tea this time." She chuckled.

" White please." He gave her a resigned look. Susan knew she would win this one and filled his glass. She preferred the red wine. She was amazed at herself; normally she would have opted for the vodka in her bedroom. But somehow the vodka missed the usual charm it had on her. She took his plate and got him some blini's. She had warmed them up again. She helped herself to some pancakes. She had not yet tasted them and had to admit she was curious how they would taste. " These are delicious, Marcus!" She wasn't lying. They tasted great. Then a question crept into her mind. " Were did you make them? When I remember correctly you don't have a kitchen in your quarters."

" You should go and have a look at Lennier's kitchen...."

Susan smiled. She should have known that that Minbari fellow was involved somehow. She could tell Marcus was feeling a little more comfortable. He ate two pancakes and then reached for the wine. He forgot the burn on his arm was still painful and tried to hide the pain he felt. Susan saw the short grimace of pain. " I'll have a look at that burn after diner and no arguments." She added that last bit when she saw he was going to protest.

Marcus concluded he was going to lose this game. He grabbed the wine and swallowed it down. At this point he wasn't concerned for the effect of alcohol on him.

I realize I forgot something. Excuse me for a moment." She got up from her chair and walked towards the media wall. Some seconds later classical music started playing. " Hope you like it. I don't have so many data crystals with music on."

" It's fine." Marcus was now sure he had entered some fantasy world. He knew he would wake up in a moment and then this dream would end. It was impossible that Susan would be this kind to him; usually she just tolerated his presence. Now it almost appeared that she was trying to make him comfortable.

" I have had enough pancakes for a year. Want to settle down on the couch and watch a vid? "

Marcus had to force the last piece of pancake down his throat. He was just glad he wasn't drinking the moment she spoke. He was sure the wine would have landed on his tunic. " Why not?" was the only thing he managed to say.

"Grab your glass and join me then."

She filled his glass once more. This evening was getting worse and worse. She had lured him into her trap and he wasn’t able to escape. Together they got up and walked over to the couch. It was only now that he realized that she had moved the tree closer to the couch. They would be sitting under the lights of the tree.

" Sit down, I'll put the vid in."

Marcus held onto his glass as if it could get him out of this situation. He sat down on one end of the couch, allowing her to sit down on the other end of the couch. She turned on the vid and sat down next to him. His heart missed a beat. He felt her warm body next to his. Was she doing this to him on purpose? Did she know what it meant to him? Having her this close to him? He forced himself to pay attention to the movie. He hoped she hadn't picked a love story. He couldn't handle that. " A Christmas Carol?" He was surprised.

" Well, I didn't have much time to find it and the guy was asking me what version I wanted, but I don't know the story so I just went for one of them."

Then Marcus started laughing, he couldn't stop.

Susan got annoyed. ** Here we go again! ** " What?''

“ Somehow you managed to get the Disney version of the tale. We will have to watch Mickey Mouse and all his friends."

The look she gave him was priceless. As she watched the vid she saw Mickey Mouse walking into the office of Ebenezer Scrooge, played by.... a duck.

" It's okay, I love this version too.” Now it was Marcus' turn to chuckle. She had made his day. Oh, how he loved her for just being her wonderful self. He saw the angry look on her face. " Come on, we'll watch this vid, it's great. Did you know I was famous back home for doing a grand Donald Duck impression?" He knew his babbling would relax her a bit.

" Alright, shut up now. Let's watch the vid.".

Marcus recognized the hint and held his tongue. He was determined to make the best of this evening. ** Or should I call it a date? **

60 Minutes later Susan turned the vid off. She’d liked the tale after all. She looked at Marcus and she could still see the remnant of a chuckle in his eyes. Well, that must mean he's feeling relaxed. The vid had worked, even the wrong one. Now the hard bit was coming up. She had decided she wanted to give him a small gift, but she had no time to buy one. So, she wrapped up an item that was rather personal to her.

" Do you want some more wine?" Marcus tried to fill the silence that had fallen after the vid ended.

" Yes, some red wine please." She handed him her glass as he got up. Marcus walked to the table and filled their glasses. Susan used the moment to sneak away to the bedroom where she had hidden her present.

Marcus saw her stealing out but kept silent. He didn't want to ruin a good thing.

" Marcus sit down an close your eyes."

Marcus shrugged and did as he was told. He knew better than to argue with her. He heard her come closer. She sat down next to him again. His inner alarm was online now.

" Open your hands, but keep your eyes closed."

Again he did, as she demanded. Some paper fell into the palm of his hands.

"You can open them now."

Marcus looked at the two pieces of paper in his hands. He sought and found Susan's eyes. " What's this all about?" The warm look in her eyes told him she was being serious, no traps.

" I wanted to give you something in return after you went through all this trouble getting me a tree and pancakes. I promised you I would behave like a nice girl. Didn't I?"

'' Yes, you did." Marcus was now truly convinced this was a vision he was having while being asleep in his room. He hoped nobody would wake him. He made up his mind and unfolded the first piece of paper. He recognized her handwriting. He had trouble comprehending what was written on the paper. He looked at her questionly. " Are you serious?"

" Yes, I hereby invite your over for breakfast and dinner. If you bring some of those teabags with you I promise I'll give it a chance."

Marcus let the paper disappear in one of his trouser pockets. He would keep this paper as a reminder of the evening. " Count me in. I'll knock on your door tomorrow morning at precisely 0900 hours. I will bring the tea and perhaps I can get my hands on some bacon and eggs."

Susan nodded her approval. It would have been a shock to her if he had turned her down. She was now certain she was his ladylove. This might become very interesting. She was wondering how much longer he could keep it a secret. Her guess was not very long. " Now unwrap your second present." She was getting impatient. She wanted to know his reaction to the gift.

Marcus felt something inside the paper. She had stolen the paper from his tree, he smiled. He was surprised to see a green seashell with an attached necklace so one could wear it as a piece of jewelry. " Susan? "

She took the necklace from his fingers and put it round his neck. " I found this shell on the shores of St. Petersburg when I was still on Earth. The odd color caught my attention and I loved it so much that I wore it round my neck for quite some time."

" I can't accept a gift that means so much to you." Marcus protested.

" I know you rangers don't have much personal possessions, but I hope you'll accept it. I know it's not much of a gift, but because you surprised me, you didn't leave me much time to buy something. So I had to improvise. I always thought that the more personal gifts meant more than something you just buy in a store.''

Marcus was deeply touched. Was there hope for a relationship after all? He had almost given up and now it seemed Susan was taking the initiative. He had to get out now or his passion for her would drive him mad. He didn't want to risk things getting out of hand. "In that case I am honored and I will wear it always."

Susan got a little shaky when she saw how serious he was. She broke the intimacy and got up, unsure of how to proceed.

" I better be off now. I have to hunt down a contact of mine to get you the bacon and eggs as promised. And I might add some splendid tea and toast, perhaps even some chocolate milk." He started babbling again and this time he saw a smile on her face. He wasn't annoying her.

" Wait, I almost forget your burn. I have some great stuff around somewhere." Susan searched one of her drawers and gave him the little box. " Apply gently."

She spoke in a soft manner that sent chills right up his spine. He decided to make a run for it. " See you tomorrow at 0900. We are still on?"

" Of course we are, dummy."

Marcus said his good-byes and took her right hand into his and kissed the palm passionately. He daren't look at her face and slipped out of her quarters. This had been a great evening. He was looking forward to breakfast time. Now, where could he find his bacon and eggs?

Susan saw him leave in a hurry. She too had had a splendid evening. Her feelings were quite clear to her now, as were his feelings towards her. She slipped into bed. She would get up at 0800 and clean up the mess. She was glad he accepted her gift, a silly gift, but from the heart. She fell asleep thinking of bacon and eggs and seeing him again in the morning.

Marcus made his way trough the bowels of the station. He was quite pleased with himself. The evening had been splendid. He wanted to go to his quarters first, before going to see his contact. He still wasn't convinced that he was awake. As far as he was concerned this was all a lovely dream. He took a turn and walked right into Mr. Garibaldi. Marcus suspected that Garibaldi had been lurking in the corridors, waiting for him to get out of Susan's quarters. Garibaldi had a dirty look on his face.

" Tell me, did we irritate her? Was she mad? Well, you're still alive, tell me man!"

Marcus knew Garibaldi. The man had some thoughts of his own about him and Susan. Marcus suspected Stephen had told Garibaldi about the time they were locked up together, when he confessed his feelings for Susan. Sometimes it looked like the entire station knew about his feelings for Susan...except Susan herself. " No, she wasn't mad at me. I must disappoint you. At first she was a bit angry, but later on she loosened up. She invited me for dinner. Now I am on my way home. " Marcus knew better than to lie to Garibaldi. The man was a living lie detector. Besides, Marcus knew he was a terrible liar. His face gave him away every time he told a lie. Even Lennier and Delenn caught him when he tried to lie.

" That's too bad. But we will get her next time. "

Marcus saw Garibaldi looking at his necklace. The ranger had to get away from Garibaldi's probing glare." Well, there are some errands I have to run, see you tomorrow." Marcus started to march away, walking a bit too fast. " By the way, have a jolly Christmas, Michael. "

Garibaldi watched Marcus run away. He had figured out what the ranger’s feelings were for the Commander a long time ago. He hoped Marcus would be able to capture her heart. Susan and Marcus had both had their hardships. They deserved some bliss.

Marcus slowed his pace as he reached his own quarters. He typed in his password and went inside. " Lights, normal settings." Marcus thought he had entered a nightmare. All his stuff was lying on the floor. All his drawers had been sought through. What was going on? The next moment he felt something in the room with him. He was grabbed from behind with a tremendous force. A piece of cloth was pushed on his mouth and nose. He recognized the stench. It was a sedative. He struggled to regain his freedom, but his attacker was too strong. The last thing he felt was a blow to his head. He fell to the floor and darkness descended on him.

 

Susan woke from a rather compromising dream. She opened her eyes and her first thought was about Marcus. Why had she never given him a chance? ** You were scared of getting hurt again. **

There was that irritating voice again. But the voice was right. She had locked her feelings away. She remembered the look of fear and distrust in Marcus' eyes when she was trying to convince him that she would behave herself. She had never been aware of how intimidating she must be to others. She didn't want to be like that, at least not to Marcus. She stretched, feeling very rested. She had slept well, no nightmares. Only those eyes haunting her. She got up quickly when she saw the time; 0830 already. She had to clean up.

She got dressed. She wasn't on duty today so she had the whole day to herself. Quickly she cleaned up. She couldn't resist sitting under the tree for a moment. The candles had been burned up, but the smell of pine got her into the spirit once more. Pulling herself together, she drank a cup of coffee. She needed coffee. She looked at the time once more; 0905. He was late; normally he was always right on time. She shrugged, he would come, she was certain of that fact.

Susan was pacing. It was 0930 and no Marcus. This was crazy. She tried to establish a link to Marcus' room, but there was no reply. This was it. She wasn't going to sit and wait. She left her quarters and started walking. She didn't expect to see Garibaldi. He was in uniform, apparently on his way to C&C.

" Good morning, Susan."

Susan noticed a chuckle in his voice. She slowly realized something; how did get Marcus in to her quarters? He must have had some help. " Did you help Marcus getting in to my quarters?"

" Of course, I hoped he would annoy you." Michael no longer hid his amusement. He was laughing.

" I will get you for that, you know that?"

“ Just go ahead and try, I have some tricks of my own." Michael wasn't afraid to challenge her. " By the way, what are you doing here on your day off? I thought you would sleep all day."

" I had an appointment with some one, but the person didn't show up." Susan decided Michael didn't need to know everything.

" Let me guess, Marcus?"

Susan started to blush, damn.

" I met him when he was on his way home yesterday late. He looked quite...happy."

" Leave me alone, Michael. You don't have to get involved in everything!"

Michael couldn't help laughing even louder when she passed him by with an angry look on her face.

 

Susan didn't bother to announce her coming. She used her access code to gain access to his quarters. She opened her mouth to scold at him, but halted when she saw the mess in his quarters. Something must have happened here, she knew how tidy Marcus was. She walked into the room and immediately noticed the foul smell in the room. She searched her mind to name that smell, but failed. Then she saw the little pool of blood near the entrance. It hadn't dried up yet. Susan's instincts took over. She had to report this to Sheridan and find out what had happened here. But first she would pay Lennier a quick visit. Maybe the Minbari knew something more.

 

" Please enter."

Susan had a serious look on her face when Lennier greeted her.

"Commander, I'm honored by your visit."

Susan observed that the kitchen was in a normal state, no reminders of pancakes here. " Do you know where Marcus is? His quarters look like hell and there is some blood on the floor." She was aware of the strange look on his face.

"The last time I saw him was yesterday when he ruined my kitchen, but perhaps Delenn can help you. She is currently with the Captain at C&C."

Susan could tell he was trying to hide his concern. "What are we waiting for? Let's get there." Susan grabbed Lennier and dragged him with her. Her concern for Marcus' well being surprised her. She knew she had to face her feelings for him and tell him that she loved him soon.

 

" Captain, Ambassador Delenn, may I have a moment of your time?" Susan waited until the meeting ended and stepped inside his office, accompanied by Lennier.

" What's up, Susan? Couldn't you resist checking things out on your day off?" Sheridan was in a good mood, remembering the entire evening and night he had shared with Delenn who was standing next to him.

" I have reason to believe that something has happened to Marcus. He has disappeared and his quarters are a mess. I found blood on the floor. Zack is checking it out."

Sheridan nodded, he knew his second in command. She was serious. " Delenn, do you know something, a mission perhaps?"

" No mission. He just returned from one." Delenn glanced at Lennier.

" Zack has sent out a team looking for him but..." Susan was lost for words. What had happened to her since their dinner? She felt like a schoolgirl again, being in love for the first time.

" We will give Zack some time trying to find him. If he hasn't come up with something in an hour, we will act. All right, Susan?"

Susan wanted to cry out; no. But he was Captain. "I'll be back in an hour. I am going to help out Zack." She left the office, set on finding him.

" Did I miss something? ** Since when is Susan this concerned for Marcus? **" John wanted an answer.

" Marcus has strong feelings for the Commander and I think Susan has finally realized she's love with him. He surprised her with a Christmas tree and made something called pancakes for her." Lennier answered in earnest. John looked at him. He hadn't known that.

"We'll find Marcus, don't worry.” John was surprised to see the concern on Delenn's face.

" I hope so John. I really hope we do."

 

Susan searched for some kind of clue so she could deduce what had happened here. Zack was checking the floor. Garibaldi joined them.

" The room is clean. No kind of fingerprints or abnormal energy readings anywhere. Who ever did this, left no traces. " Garibaldi felt a bad mood coming up. He didn't like to be outsmarted. He looked at Susan. He thought she would be mad by this time, but she was standing there, lost in thought. Garibaldi wished he knew what had happened at that dinner yesterday.

" Commander, I found something." Zack got up from under the bed. Susan's heart missed a beat when she saw the seashell she had given to Marcus. There was no longer a necklace attached to it. " That was my present for him. He never would leave that behind. Someone has taken him away by force. "

Garibaldi and Zack looked at each other. Susan Ivanova, the ice queen, had given Marcus a Christmas present? How weird would this get? " Susan, about that smell you mentioned? You are right. It's a sedative. Looks like some one wanted our little ranger badly." Garibaldi was now convinced that Marcus had left his quarters against his will.

" But why?" Susan controlled her feelings once more. The protecting walls were back up. She was the Commander of the station. She had to find the answers. At that point she was startled to hear her comlink. " Ivanova go."

"This is Sheridan, you better get back to C&C. Delenn has some information about Marcus' location. And Susan, you better hurry. "

“ We are on our way." Susan quickly slid the shell into a pocket. Sheridan had sounded worried, not a good sign.

 

Susan and Garibaldi made it to C&C in a new record setting time. Susan was well aware of the worried look on Delenn's face. She noticed that Lennier and a ranger were also present. She sat down.

" Well, after we concluded that something had happened to Marcus, I got into contact with the other rangers. Lennier will you fill you in on the rest." Delenn seemed unwilling to tell, so Lennier took over.

" When we decided to let Marcus be stationed here, we were worried about his mental state. During training the tried to hurt himself a couple of times and he went off on some very dangerous missions as a volunteer. We believed Marcus had an unhealthy death wish. So, we took some precautions."

Susan wasn't really surprised to hear this. His fight with Neroon could also be seen as an attempt to kill himself.

" So, we planted a bug in his ranger pin, in case he would disappear again. It's a kind of tracking device. He never knew about this." Lennier sounded apologetically.

" But it can be of help to us now.“ Delenn looked a bit uncomfortable.

“ So where is he, or wasn't he wearing the damn pin?" Susan couldn't be quiet any longer. If there was a chance...

“ He is wearing the pin, but we discovered he is no longer on the station." Delenn glanced at Sheridan. " The calculations we made let us to believe that he is on a starship, we have the exact coordinates. We can go after him."

"Then what are we still doing here? Captain, I want permission to go after him."

Susan was standing and Sheridan shivered when she gave him a look filled with malice. " Take a White star. Michael, you are going too and get Stephen to go also. If Marcus is hurt he will be able to treat him." Sheridan knew better than to let Susan go off alone.

" Captain, Delenn, I consider Marcus to be my friend. May I join them?"

Delenn was taken by surprise by Lennier's request. " You may go, Lennier."

Susan saluted Sheridan and left C&C, followed by her friends. She was determined to find Marcus. He would have a lot of explaining to do. He managed again to annoy her. Michael, aware of Susan's anger stayed some paces behind her and beckoned Lennier to do the same. It was the safest way, keeping away from Susan.

Stephen didn't need a lot of convincing him to come along. One look at Susan's face and he was packing his stuff. Knowing Marcus as he did, Stephen was certain that the ranger was in a lot of trouble and he admitted to himself that he was looking forward to get off the station for a while. In less than one hour, White star 4 left the station. Susan, sitting in the command chair, heard the steady beat of the tracking device. The course was set.

 

Marcus woke in complete darkness. He tried to shake off the groggy feeling in his mind and body, but kept feeling dizzy. What had happened? The last thing he remembered was entering his quarters and being attacked from behind. He had been an easy target, his mind filled with thoughts of Susan. He hadn't been alert. He felt ashamed. They'd captured him so easily. He searched the room for a source of light, but there was none. He tried sitting up, but was shocked when he found he couldn't move. The feel of cold metal made him shiver. There were metal holds chaining him to the metal table. He felt the braces around his hands, ankles and waist. He also noted that his tunic was gone, he was dressed only in his trousers. Marcus knew he was in big trouble. Who ever kidnapped him wanted him to know that he was a prisoner in this place. But who could that be? Who was bold enough to capture a ranger on Babylon 5 with all that security present?

" You're awake."

An unknown voice coming from the dark startled him. He had thought he was alone. But that voice...He didn't know the voice, but that accent.... Centauri. The Centauri were behind this scheme, but why? Marcus closed his eyes quickly when some lights flashed on. Bright lights shone down from the ceiling. As his eyes grew accustomed to the lights he saw where he was. The room was very small and cold. He saw 3 Centauri standing in front of him. He knew them. The first one was Vir; the assistant of Londo Mollari. Next to him was the minister of war, Ladar. But the one who truly scared him was Rima; the chief torturer of the emperor. He called upon his inner strength, remembering what the Minbari taught him about facing terror and death.

" Ranger Cole, I see you have regained consciousness. I am pleased about that. You see, I have some questions for you to answer. And I will get my answers. Master Rima is here to ensure that." Minister Ladar was circling around him, like a vulture that wanted to taste blood. " Of course you are aware of the fact that the rangers have an ally, a contact within the Centauri Empire. I want you to tell me the name of this traitor."

Marcus shuddered. He knew the name of this Centauri, but couldn't give that information. It would mean certain death for their contact. He looked at Vir, trying to figure out what he was doing here. Why wasn't he on Babylon 5 with Londo? “ I'm a ranger; we don't betray our men. I will never tell you!" Marcus spoke much more boldly than he felt; deep down he realized that they would hurt him a lot before killing him. He was realistic enough to realize that he wasn't coming out of this one alive.

" You have chosen a long and painful way, but honestly, I would be surprised if you would tell me the name. Master Rima, he is all yours."

Marcus saw the sadistic look in Ladar's eyes. G'Kar had told him a lot about Rima. The Centauri was personally responsible for torturing hundreds of Narn to death. G'Kar hated this Centauri intensely. Marcus took a deep breath. He was in no position to get away. His thoughts went to Susan. Last night had been heaven, now he was in hell. ** Sorry Susan, I lost your present and now I am going to lose you too. **

 

Marcus was tired and his right hand, arm and shoulder ached. Rima had broken his hand and arm in a brutal way. Rima had always repeated the same question; who is the traitor? And again and again Marcus had refused to answer. It had felt like hours before Rima stopped and left the room, accompanied by Ladar and Vir. Marcus used this break to force himself to be calm. He tried the meditation mantras the Minbari had taught him, but they didn’t work, there was simply too much pain. Rima had dislocated his shoulder and every movement on his part was punished with a wave of pain.

" Are you willing to tell us who the traitor is?" Rima entered the room again. His mouth was twisted and there was excitement in his eyes.

He looked truly ugly to Marcus. " Never!" Marcus was surprised by Rima's next action; very casually he broke 2 of his ribs. Marcus fought for air as he felt his lungs ache.

"Tell me the name."

"Ne... ver." Marcus was having trouble speaking. He knew not to expect any mercy from the master torturer. He could only hope that they would lose patience and kill him. Then he would be free of the pain, but Susan. He didn't want to lose her this way.

" As you wish, human." The last word was spat out in clear contempt.

Rima reached out with his fist, Marcus could see a shine of metal on his knuckles. His head rocked to one side as the blow hit his right eye. An immense pain spread through his head. He yelled.

Rima muttered something in Centauri and left the room once more.

Marcus tried to open his eyes, but was alarmed when his right one stayed close. He felt warm blood drip down his face. At this point he was more concerned about his ribs. He couldn't breathe properly. The only thing he could do was wait and try to control his fear. This waiting was part of Rima's tactic too. As the tormentor returned he had a syringe in his hands, filled with a strange yellow liquid.

" I am sure this will do the trick. You will be begging us to kill you." Rima was pleased when he stuck the needle in Marcus' arm. He then stood back, content with watching.

Marcus had no idea what the content of the syringe might be. But when it started he knew it was a hallucinogenic. All his bad memories were coming back to him, ten more times as intense as he remembered. He saw his brother, parents and Hasina die. Then the drug took him even further to the dark edges of his mind. He saw how Delenn was killed in a Shadow attack, Michael was shot to death before his eyes, Lennier on the torture rack, bleeding and finally there was Susan lying dead in front of him. Then his mind went black as he lost consciousness.

" What is the name of the traitor, human?"

" Leave me alone or kill me!!!!!!!!!!!"Marcus wasn't thinking straight any longer, he was on the edge of insanity.

 

" He has an immense strength. I doubt that I can break him. We better get another ranger. This one will die, he will not tell us." Rima was displeased. He wasn't used to failing. The ranger had astonished him. Rima had never suspected that Marcus would beat him, and he didn't like that.

" Agreed, but what of the body?" It was the first time Vir spoke. He had taken Ladar's offer to work for him, abandoning Londo. It could help his career enormously.

" What do you suggest?" Ladar observed his new assistant sternly. He didn't know what to make of Vir yet.

" I would take a shuttle and drop him of on the planet below. The planet's climate is one of pure snow and ice. We could leave him there to die. The snow would cover up any traces and they would never look for him on an abandoned planet."

Ladar smiled, pleased. " That is a good idea. Vir, you will personally take him down in a shuttle. Just one thing; make sure he is dead before you return."

"As you wish, minister. I am your loyal servant."

Ladar gave him permission to carry out his instructions. Vir hurried out of the conference chamber.

 

Vir had no time to lose. He claimed the shuttle and made sure he could leave right away. But first there were some important things to be done. He briefly went to his quarters and then returned to the shuttle with a box. He hid the box inside.

" Your prisoner is here."

Vir watched as Marcus was pushed inside. The ranger hit hard the floor and stayed lying on the floor. He was in no condition to move. The drug was still paralyzing him. He couldn't think straight, besides that his body ached painfully. He just wanted to die.

Vir closed the shuttle doors and took the shuttle out. He turned the link to audio only and laid in the course. He saw the Centauri battle cruiser getting smaller. He reached for the box, opened it. He pulled a thermo blanket out of the box and went over to Marcus. "Please, let me help you, I owe you that much.” He felt responsible for Marcus' condition. He had heard too late that Ladar wanted to know the name of the ranger's contact. The only thing Vir could do was getting close to Marcus through Ladar. " Thank you for not betraying me, I'm indebted to you." Vir was concerned. The drug Rima had administered to Marcus had never been meant to use on humans. Nobody could tell what the long-term effect might be. Vir carefully wrapped Marcus into the thermo blanket. Marcus was in urgent need of medical treatment. The ranger whispered some words he couldn't understand. Vir felt his forehead. Marcus had a fever. He tried to get Marcus to sit upright, but Marcus kept falling to his left side time and time again. Vir was convinced that Marcus wasn't hearing him. Vir felt guilty. He had failed to save Marcus on time. He hoped that Babylon 5 had picked up the transmission he had sent from his quarters. It was unscripted and addressed to the rangers. He landed and looked outside. It was a gamble taking Marcus to this place. They had to rescue him in time! Vir carried the delirious ranger to a cave he had found scanning the environment. He put him down on another blanket. He also placed food and water close to Marcus. That was all he could do to help him. Before leaving the cave he eyed Marcus one last time. He looked so fragile, blood all over his head and hidden under the blanket. Vir had to trust the Babylon 5 crew. The rangers had assured him they would get in there as quickly as possible. He sighed, he didn't want to leave Marcus behind like this, but he had to return to Ladar. " I hope you will live, I am not worth dying for." Vir fled from the cave, running away from his feelings of guilt.

 

Susan pulled the thermo coat closer. She was still feeling cold. She allowed Michael to fly the shuttle. She feared she might have problems concentrating on it; her thoughts wandered off as they did so often lately, wandering off to Marcus. Stephen came fully prepared with several Med kits, not sure what to expect down there. Susan was glad he was onboard; she trusted his medical abilities.

 

" I' m going to put her down." Michael made a perfect landing on the snowed surface of the planet. As he watched outside the white almost hurt his eyes.

"Let's move." Susan didn't want to waste a single moment. They opened the shuttle doors and were stunned by the ferocious snowstorm raging outside. Susan pulled herself together and led her companions to the cave where the signal was coming from. Once inside she lit a flashlight to gain better sight. "Oh my God.” Susan was afraid she was going to faint when she discovered Marcus lying on the cold ice. She ran towards his huddled form, forgetting about Michael and Stephen. Susan kneeled at his side. She had to be strong, for his sake. Marcus had become completly unconsciousness after Vir left. His tormented body just couldn't keep upright any longer. He had slipped onto the ice floor and as a result his thermo blanket no longer covered him. Susan saw that he had started to turn blue from the cold. She traced the bruised places on his body with her eyes, not daring to touch him; afraid she may hurt him more. His one eye was a bloody mess and he looked terrible vulnerable. She watched in a blur how Stephen sat down on his other side. The doctor examined Marcus.

"We have to get him to the ship, ASAP."

Susan didn't miss the alarm in his voice.

“ Allow me." Michael slid his arms around Marcus and carried him like a babe. Stephen pulled the thermo blanket back into place.

"Be careful, Michael, he may have internal damage." Stephen's voice was edged with anguish for his friend and patient.

'Don't worry. "

" Come on, Susan. He needs you." Stephen saw the lost look in her eyes. He understood how shocked she must feel; realizing she loved Marcus and seeing him in the condition he was in.

"Will he make it, Stephen?" Susan got to her feet and joined them.

"I don't know how badly hurt he is. It looks serious." Stephen replied truthfully, he wasn't going to lie to her.

As they entered the shuttle, Michael laid Marcus down on another thermo blanket, which Stephen had spread on the floor.

"I'll fly." Michael hurried to the controls. Marcus had felt cold to the bone and he hadn't weighed much. Michael was also concerned.

Stephen put a pillow under Marcus' head. He saw Susan sitting down next to Marcus. He pushed his hands under the thermo blanket and started to check for fractures. He felt the broken ribs, the broken bones in his arm and hand. Finally he discovered the dislocated shoulder. These were things he could cure; he was more worried about the drug the Centauri had used on Marcus.

“ Can I do anything to help you?" Susan was struggling to regain her composure.

"Just hold his left hand. His right is broken. Perhaps it will help him to pull through; knowing you are there for him." Stephen wanted to get Marcus to his improvised med lab.

“ We are docking." Michael brought the shuttle in. " Let me carry him again." Michael picked Marcus up in his arms once more. They were almost running now, the Minbari watched them awkwardly.

" Put him on the exam bed." Stephen felt in control again. He raised the room temperature and pulled the thermo blanket off Marcus' body. He had to treat the ranger's injuries. He hooked Marcus up to some medical devices, drew some blood and put it in the computer to analyze it.

“ Lennier and I will take care of the command post, Susan." Michael tried to smile at her, but he knew Marcus' life could be in danger.

“ Thanks Michael, but I will meet you there when I know more about Marcus' condition." Susan's heart was arguing with her sense of duty. Her heart won the battle; she wanted to stay with Marcus, the man she loved. Michael simply nodded and left.

Stephen was trying to get Marcus' shoulder back in place and was glad when he managed to do so. " I'll have to bandage his arm and hand." Stephen had to wait for the test results and was growing impatient.

Susan was pleased to see with how much care Stephen treated Marcus’ wounds. She stayed in the back to give Stephen room to work on his patient. The computer finally ended the analyses of Marcus' blood. Stephen studied the results. " Damn, his whole system has shut down. I think it's best just to wait until its effect is gone. The damage is already done. If I shoot him up with another drug nobody knows what will happen. But I am fairly sure that there will be no long-term damage."

Susan sighed, intensely relieved.

“ Susan, can you get me the med kits I left in the shuttle?" Stephen didn't really need them, but he wanted her out for some minutes. Susan nodded and started walking to the docking area. While she was gone, he undressed Marcus and got him in to the standard med gown. He bandaged the ranger's chest, to help heal his ribs. Susan got back earlier as expected.

"Here."

“ Thanks. You can touch him, you know. Just stay away from the injured eye. I haven't treated that yet." Stephen pulled the blanket up to Marcus chin and focused now on the injured eye.

Susan was content to simply sit, holding Marcus' hand and watch Stephen clean the dirt from Marcus' injured eye. She still felt how cold Marcus was. His hand was ice cold.

" Somebody hit him very hard with a metal object in the face. The eye is badly damaged. I don't know if he will ever again have 20/ 20 vision. " Stephen pulled the eyelid back and thanked God there were no metal splinters left in the eye. "I have to get some cleaning lotion; I will be back in a minute. Watch him for me, will you?" Stephen took the med kits and went through them.

Susan held onto Marcus' hand. She was glad he wasn't dead. Before she realized what she was doing, she was gently stroking his soft hair.

Stephen peeked at her and smiled when he saw them together.

" I have to attend to some matters, but if he turns worse, let me know at once," Susan said.

"Of course Susan, I'll call you on your comlink." Stephen tried to reassure her of his good intensions.

Susan started to walk towards the door, but could not resist taking a last look at him before leaving. She left Medlab and headed down to Sheridan's office. She entered the office. He was alone, sitting behind his desk, he looked overworked.

"So, you got Marcus back?"

"Yes, but he has been hurt badly. It will take him weeks to recover. The Centauri tortured him and drugged him to get the name of the ranger's contact on Centauri. He didn't tell them."

" I never doubted he would give his life to save Vir."

Susan processed this new information. "So, Vir is the contact?"

" Yes, Delenn told me."

" John? "Susan wanted to make a personal request.

"Yes, Susan?" Sheridan considered her a friend. She appeared to be tired. Michael had been in earlier and had told him of Susan's obvious concern for Marcus.

"Can I have some time off? I would like to be there for him, when he wakes up." Susan knew that her blushing betrayed her true feelings for Marcus.

Sheridan had a hard time not smiling at her like an older brother. "Go ahead Susan, take the time off you think you will need. It will be a good chance for young Lt. Corwin to get some experience acting as first officer."

"Thank you, John. I appreciate it." Susan had known she could count on him.

 

She went to her quarters to take a hot shower. She got some sweats to wear and settled down under the Christmas tree. She fell asleep. When she woke she made a strong cup of coffee. She looked at the seashell Marcus had lost when he had been kidnapped. One of Michael’s contacts had attached it to a silver necklace. She knew it would suit him. She put it down near the tree.

"Stephen to Susan."

The Babcom was still set on audio only.

"Susan here, what's up?"

"Susan, it is Marcus. He is hallucinating. I can't calm him. Could you come here before he hurts himself? Perhaps you can get through to him."

" I am on my way." She didn't hesitate at all, Stephen sounded like he was on the edge of panicking

 

Susan saw Stephen immediately as she entered Medlab. He was outside of Marcus' room, yelling at his staff. She said; " Stephen, what is wrong?"

Stephen grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the door. " He’s still under the influence of the drug. He thinks he’s onboard the Centauri ship and that Rima is torturing him. I can't get close to him and because of the drug I can't give him a sedative. I hope you can convince him he's safe. He tried to run, so I locked the door. He's hurting himself by moving around so much."

" I understand. I will try my best." Susan took a deep breath as Stephen opened the door.

" I will be right behind you."

Susan nodded and braced herself for what was to come.

 

Marcus felt a terrible ache throughout his entire body. He was frightened when he found his eyesight had vastly diminished. He touched the bandage round his head. Had the Centauri treated the wound to ensure future torture? When he tried to stand he doubled over from the pain coming from his chest. He knew that pain; it meant broken ribs. He was glad he could move about, the chains were gone. Marcus tried to shake off that irritating groggy feeling in his head. He wasn't able to think straight. He hoped Rima would leave him alone for some time. He couldn't take much more of this pain. He heard a sissing sound, followed by footsteps, Rima had returned.

Susan walked into the room slowly, trying to analyze the situation. Her heart broke when she saw him sitting huddled in the corner. Wearing only the med gown she could see some of the bandaged wounds on his body. He held his hands protectively in front of his face, afraid of being hit again. He shuddered all over his body. Susan didn't have to use her latent telepathic powers to feel the immense fear he was in. Stephen stayed behind at the door, allowing Susan to go ahead on her own. She walked over to him, and then kneeled down beside him. He still shielded his face with his arms.

" Marcus, it's me, Susan. You're safe now. You're back on Babylon 5." Susan waited for his reaction.

" I will never tell you…I am not a traitor..."Marcus was whispering, barely loud enough to be heard. His voice trembled badly.

"Marcus, look at me. Please." Susan wanted to help him. She gently took his hands, careful not to hurt his already wounded hand any further.

" I won't tell you, never..." He had not enough strength in his arms to break away from her.

Susan saw his face now. It was stricken with horror. He held his eyes closed and was very pale. There was some blood showing on the bandage over his eye. Susan knew she couldn't give up now. He depended on her. "Marcus, look at me."

She tried once more to reach him. She caressed his hand. She didn't doubt her feelings for him any longer. This was the man she loved. "Marcus, please." Finally he reacted to her voice.

"Susan, they got you too? You have to escape...they would only hurt you...please run..." Marcus tried to focus his eye. She read his fear for her life in his eyes. Marcus attempted to get up, but failed miserably. He couldn't breathe properly for a moment and felt the pain in his chest.

Susan grabbed him just in time to prevent him from hitting the floor hard. She was alarmed when she felt how thin he was. He had lost considerable weight. " I'll help you to the bed. "

Marcus started to struggle to free himself from her hold. " No, don't chain me again."

Susan realized they had him chained to the bed. Her anger against the Centauri was growing fast. " Just sit down, Marcus."

"Susan, you have to run, I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt because you stayed too long with me..."

Susan sighed; Marcus was lost in his own world. " Don't worry about me, Marcus." Susan helped Marcus to sit down on the bed. She took the thermo blanket and wrapped it carefully around him. He had to keep warm. Then, she acted on instinct and embraced him warmly. " It's okay, Marcus. You're in Medlab. I will stay with you." Susan was surprised when Marcus slid his left arm around her waist and held her as tightly as he could in his weakened state.

"Susan, are you really here with me?" Marcus ' voice had weakened even more and his breathing had become shallow.

"Yes, Marcus, I am here."

Marcus let himself relax in her arms; he allowed himself to rest his head against her shoulder. Susan stroked his hair. "Stephen wants to take a look at you. You can trust him, you know that, don't you?"

“ Yes, I am sorry... I didn't recognize any of you..."Marcus raised his head to look at her. He didn't dare to look her in the eyes though.

“ Don't worry about it, Marcus. Just take it slow and allow your body to heal.” She signaled Stephen and he came closer.

“ Marcus, remember me?" Stephen tried to assess the damage the hallucinations had done to Marcus' already weakened state. Marcus was shaking aggressively.

Susan held the thermo blanket in place with one hand. Her other arm supported Marcus so he could stay seated upright. Marcus was tired; so damn tired, but tried to stay awake, to stay with his Susan. The Commander noticed his fatigue. "Go to sleep, Marcus. We will watch over you." Susan saw him fall asleep into a restful slumber. His face relaxed and all the tension and fear disappeared. She lovingly laid him back on the bed, assisted by Stephen, who started to examine him at once. He hooked Marcus up to the machines and monitors once more. Susan let him do his job. She continued to stroke his hair. "So, how is he doing?" Susan had to know the truth.

"I guess the drug is designed to strengthen its effect towards the end. He is now in a state of natural sleep. Next time when he wakes up, he should be free of the drug." Stephen looked satisfied at Susan. " Thanks for coming down so quickly, He could have injured himself badly without you there to pull him back from his nightmare."

"Glad I could help." Susan forced herself to let go of Marcus. There was something else she had to attend to. A surprise, she and Michael were working on. " Let me know, when he wakes again?"

" Of course, Susan." Stephen started renewing Marcus' eye bandage.

 

Marcus had no idea where he was when he woke. He wanted to open his eyes, but his right eye stung and was bandaged. He tried to lift his right arm to check on the eye wound, but discovered that his arm ached and was also bandaged. With his other hand he brushed his hair from his face. As he attempted to sit up, he sucked in his breath, as his chest seemed to explode. His ribs were definitely broken. Then his memory returned. Rima.... Ladar.... Vir. Suddenly Susan's face appeared and seemed to comfort him. He calmed down. Taking in his surroundings he concluded he was in Medlab on Babylon 5. Somebody had saved him from that dreaded ice planet where he would have frozen to death. Susan had been here; he knew that for sure. He remembered how she had convinced him that he was secure with her and Stephen. While he had been chained to that bed, facing Rima, he had never thought to see Susan again. Stephen was nowhere in sight. He decided to get out of Medlab. He couldn't face Stephen after he had acted like an idiot. He forced himself to sit up and clenched his teeth. The pain was too much, but he managed to swing his legs of the bed towards the floor. He felt dizzy; the room spun. Yet, he didn't give up. He attempted to stand on his feet. Terror filled his mind when he realized he had made a big mistake. He was far too weak to walk on his own. He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the door open, nor did he hear the footsteps rushing towards him.

"What do you think you're doing?”

He recognized Susan's voice, filled with anger.

"Get back in bed!"

Stephen and Susan grabbed him before he fell.

He peeked at Susan's face; she looked beautiful to him. He thanked Valen he was allowed to see her face again.

"You stay in bed! Understood?"

Stephen's face hovered over him, concerned.

“ I guess I can’t leave you alone for one moment, so I will have to keep an eye on you personally." Susan tried hard to hide her fear when she saw him almost falling to the floor. "Stephen, I will make sure he stays in bed. When can I take him with me to my quarters as we already agreed on I would."

Marcus panicked, take him with her? Since when did she care for him that much?

" In an hour. I have to run some additional tests." Stephen chuckled. He reminded Marcus of the big bad wolf, Garibaldi was so fond of.

“ I will get him in 1 hour. Make sure he's ready to leave.” Susan managed to hide her smile. Marcus looked trapped. Susan knew she would enjoy nursing him. She felt like teasing him, like he had teased her so often to cheer her up. Without adding another word she walked out of Medlab.

 

"Stephen, you have to do something.... You can't relieve me in to her care, she will kill me..." Marcus’ face saddened. Stephen burst with laughter.

"I think it's a great plan." If anyone could keep Marcus in the same spot for a week it would be Susan.

“ You can't be serious, Stephen, show some mercy!” Marcus was exhausting himself talking to Stephen like this, trying to convince to let him stay in Medlab. Marcus even promised to stay in bed; no escape attempts anymore. But Stephen just smiled. Marcus surrendered when Susan entered Medlab again. She looked like a goddess to him, her hair shiny, her eyes bright and alert. He did feel trapped. Stephen had made him sit in a wheel chair. He still wore clothes from Medlab. Stephen insisted the thermo blanket stayed wrapped around him. Stephen beckoned Susan to follow him into a corner of the room. He lowered his voice, the words were only meant to be heard by Susan. "Susan, he’s very weak. He’s not to walk; just sleep and rest. By the way, he’s terrified to be alone with you. Mentally, he’s not very stable. He has been through a lot. Be careful."

"I love him, Stephen, I would never willingly hurt him.” Susan hardly believed she had spoken these words. Stephen was a happy man; finally Susan Ivanova had admitted she had feelings for Marcus. Susan smiled at the ranger as she wheeled him out of Medlab.

 

Marcus bit his lip. He wanted to get up and run, but realized he was in no condition to do so.

" Marcus, relax.” Susan ignored the curious looks they received from the Babylon 5 crew. Marcus heard her words, but didn't comprehend. Sleep had taken over.

Susan checked on him when he didn't answer her. She was relieved to see he slept. He was on his way to recovery. She reached her quarters and pushed the chair into the bedroom. She looked at the new door in her bedroom. She and Michael had moved the little Marcus owned to the quarters next to hers. Michael had made sure a new door was installed making the 2 quarters one. Susan lifted Marcus and laid him on the bed. It frightened her that he had lost so much weight. He was bony and needed to gain several pounds. She tucked him in and went to unpack the medicines Stephen had given her to treat his wounds. Delenn had sent Lennier earlier that day to deliver 2 sets of ranger uniforms, a ( bugged ) ranger pin and a pike. While she had been waiting for Stephen to finish the tests she had discovered how to extend the pike. She had fooled around with it, trying to imitate the exercises she had seen Marcus do. She switched on the coffee machine and made some sandwiches. Marcus had to eat and gain some weight. Her comlink beeped. "Ivanova, go."

" It’s Michael. You need anything?"

"No, Michael thanks for asking."

"All right, keep your guard up. When the Centauri discover their prisoner is still alive..."

" I understand, Michael.” The transmission ended. She realized Michael's warning was in place. Susan almost dropped her cup when she heard Marcus cry out in anguish. She ran to the bedroom. "Lights normal."

Marcus was lying on his left side, crying hot tears. He was talking in his sleep and tried to crawl out of bed.

" Marcus, you are having a nightmare, wake up." She acted and wrapped her arms around his waist preventing him from dropping to the floor. Marcus opened his one eye. Susan was relieved to see that there was no new blood on the bandage.

"I am awake." Marcus was taken over by dizziness; he grasped Susan to keep him steady. His eye hurt.

She pulled him close and rocked him like her mother had done when she had been little.

Slowly the nightmare and the vertigo diminished in strength. " I am sorry...I don't feel well..." Marcus hated himself for showing his weakness in front of Susan.

"You should eat something. Do you think you can make it to the wheel chair?"

Marcus was too busy wondering why she was still holding him. He could smell her scent; feel her warmth. " Don't know." Marcus felt weak.

"Let's try." Susan helped him into the wheel chair and moved him to the kitchen table. " Try to eat something. You are much too skinny." Susan poured him some tea. He looked truly delighted when he saw the content of the cup. “ I bought some teabags, just for you." Susan felt a blush coming on; she managed to suppress it.

"Why are you so kind to me?" Marcus stared into his steaming cup. He wouldn't accept pity.

"You are a friend, probably the closest I have got. I care for you." Susan answered honestly.

Marcus let it rest. This way he could cherish his illusion that one day she could love him. 

She put some sandwiches on his plate. "Now eat!" Susan set the example and ate.

Marcus had no choice. He tried one and was amazed how good they tasted.

Susan noticed that he was shaking. "Are you cold?"

" A bit."

She walked over to the temp controls and raised them. She watched him from afar. He looked broken. "Wanna watch a vid?" Susan saw how tense he was. Stephen had warned her.

"Why not?" Marcus resigned. She was going to get her way; he knew that from experience. Susan moved the sandwiches to a table near the couch. Marcus tried to walk but he ended up tripping over his own feet. But once again Susan steadied him and walked him to the sofa.

"This time I got the right version of 'A Christmas Carol’.” She switched it on and went to the bedroom. She brought back the thermo blanket. When she sat down next to him, he was asleep again. He was sliding to his left side. She moved until his head was in her lap. She made sure the blanket was warming him. She forgot about the vid and watched his peaceful face. It didn't take long before she was asleep also. Her last thought was that she was the most fortunate woman alive, holding him in her arms.

She woke after a restful slumber to find Marcus staring at her. How long had he been awake? Susan gently touched his face; she would go mad if she couldn't kiss him now. But there was Stephen's warning echoing in her mind. Marcus had to heal first. Suddenly the door chime chirped and ruined the moment. "Enter." Susan stayed seated when Stephen entered her quarters.

Marcus fought to sit up but sleep had mad him slow to react.

"It's okay, Marcus. Just lay down and rest." Susan saw his bewildered look when she spoke these words.

"So, you took my warning serious. Good. Rest is elemental for a full recovery." Stephen couldn't hide his amusement and grinned. He walked over to Marcus and sat down on the edge of the couch.

Marcus was frantically asking himself why Susan was still stroking his hair.

"Lets get down to business, I need a blood sample and I will give you something to sleep. Are you in any pain right now, Marcus?" Stephen drew some blood and put the vial in one of his pockets.

Marcus felt overwhelmed by all this attention and hesitated to answer. Yes, he was in pain. His shoulder and his eye hurt.

"Don't lie, Marcus." Susan observed him; he was going to deny his pain.

Stephen nodded to show his approval of Susan's comment. " Well, Marcus?" Stephen enjoyed this little game too much.

"My head and shoulder hurt." Marcus knew resistance would be useless.

"Susan, can you get me some water?" Stephen took out some pills. He knew from the x-rays that Marcus was severely injured.

Susan carefully got up, putting a pillow under Marcus' head for support. She handed Stephen a glass of water.

" Take these, they will lessen the pain."

Marcus reluctantly accepted the medicine and placed the pills in his mouth. Then he took the glass and swallowed the pills.

Stephen gave a blue pill to Susan. "This will help him sleep. It's already late so I propose you give it to him in about 30 minutes. He will fall asleep immediately."

" No problem, consider it done." Susan smiled mildly when she saw the strangled expression on Marcus' face.

" When the pain gets worse, call me, Marcus." Stephen walked with Susan to the door. They exchanged some meaningful smiles.

Marcus couldn't deny that the painkillers worked. The ache lessened as Stephen had promised. He was getting sleepy. He had to listen to his body and his body told him he needed rest.

" Take the sleeping pill, Marcus." Susan placed it in the palm of his hand.

"Do I have to?" Marcus hated drugs.

" Yes, you need the rest."

Marcus gave up and drank some water to ease swallowing the pill.

" I will help you to get to bed." Susan helped him stand, but he suddenly stopped her.

" Where are you going to sleep then? You should take my to my own quarters."

" No way, Marcus. You need some one to look after you." Susan grinned, full of playful menace. " Well, the bed is big enough for the both of us. " She saw the expected look of alarm on his face. "Trust me, Marcus. I know what I am doing."

Marcus yawned, the pill worked. His eyes were closing. Susan knew she had won this argument. She sat him down in the wheel chair and took him to the bedroom. His low body weight still frightened her. She could easily lift him on to the bed. She pulled the blankets up to his chin and tucked him in. She changed into her nightgown and slipped into bed next to him. She wasn't really tired and just watched his face until she fell asleep at last. She woke hours later. She expected him to have nightmares and wasn't surprised to see him trembling again, whispering the name Rima. She took him in her arms, protecting him from his personal demon. He stopped shivering and went back to a peaceful sleep. She played with his long, silky hair and looked at the clock. She wanted to get up at 0900 hours, that was 1 hour from now. She would let Marcus sleep until he woke by himself.

Susan woke at 0930 hours. For a brief moment she wondered what this warm body was doing next to her. Then she remembered, Marcus. She looked at him. During his sleep he had rolled on his back. He seemed to be at peace. She got up, careful not to wake him; she put the blanket back in place. After a long hot shower, she got dressed and started making breakfast. Marcus was still asleep. She caught herself staring at him. The Babcom warned her, an incoming message. She made sure the volume was low so it couldn’t wake him." Londo?" Susan was not expecting a call from Londo Mollari. Londo looked quite upset.

"Commander, I just heard of Marcus' abduction by Rima. I would like to apologize for my people's behavior."

"Sorry, Londo. He is asleep and he desperately needs his rest. He is hurt."

"I know, that dog Rima got his hands on him. Please extend my apologizes to Marcus when he wakes up."

" I will." Susan knew Londo was holding something back.

Londo hesitated, but came through. "I have heard, from a reliable source, that Rima takes this personally. I have my men watching out for Rima. I suggest you put some security guards near Marcus. Rima is a cold-blooded killer. He will do anything to take away his shame, not being able to break Marcus that is."

"Thanks for telling me, Londo. I will guard him personally. Susan out." A chill crept up her spine. Londo was serious. Rima still was a major threat. She checked the whereabouts of her gun. It was set to fire. The pike was the other weapon in the room. It couldn't hurt to take some precautions. The pike disappeared into one of her pockets. She locked the door, and then hailed Michael on the Babcom, filling him in on the news. Michael immediately ordered some security officers to guard her quarters. The spell that had enchanted her yesterday had gone. This was brutal reality she was dealing with.

A moan drew her attention to the bed. Marcus was on the edge of waking up. Susan covered the distance to the bed and watched him opening his eye, which reminded her she had to check on the state of his wounds. "How are you feeling, Marcus?"

He had trouble clearing the dreams from his mind. He focused on Susan. He didn't want to worry her. "I am doing well, thanks."

" Marcus, you are not telling the truth, don't lie to me."

" Sorry, couldn't resist trying." Marcus failed to smile. His eye hurt too much.

"After breakfast I will see to your wounds." Susan went to the kitchen and carried a tray back to the bed. She had made tea and toast for him. "Try to eat." Susan set the tray down on the bed and sat on the bed. She observed him closely. He seemed to be still shaken from the drugs he had been given.

He yawned, sleep still visible in his expression. When the tea cooled down he drank it thankfully. He managed to eat two slices of toast, but stopped when his stomach kicked in, protesting. It took him great effort to stay awake.

Susan took pity on him; Stephen's sleeping pills were a bit too strong for Marcus. "Why don't you get back to sleep, Marcus?" While finishing the sentence, Marcus was asleep again, still sitting up. Susan cleared the tray of the bed and lay him gently back on the bed. He didn't feel that cold anymore. She tucked him in as she had done before and left the bedroom, the lights slightly dimmed. She was bored and ventured into Marcus' new quarters. He didn't own many things. She didn't want to search his belongings, but she couldn’t resist having a look at his book collection; Byron, Shakespeare, Poe, Stoker...

A piece of paper sticking out of a book caught her attention. She opened the book. It was a photo, taken at Airheart's. She was on it. She didn’t' t remember anyone taking pictures. It had been made secretly. She put it back and wondered for how long Marcus had been in love with her.

She kept herself busy catching on the paperwork that came with the job. She disliked all these papers and forms. Two hours went by until the Babcom beeped again.

"It's me, Stephen. I am on my way to your quarters to check on Marcus."

"He’s sleeping, Stephen."

"No problem. I will be with you in a couple of minutes. Franklin out."

Susan left her paperwork and headed to the bed. Marcus looked extremely vulnerable to her. "Marcus, you have to get up now."

Susan shook him gently, trying to wake him. Marcus moaned, reluctant to leave the lovely dream he was having involving Susan. Finally he woke, a bit confused about his diminished eyesight. He concentrated on Susan's face; a bit alarmed she looked so comfortable with him around. "I am awake." Marcus managed to sit up.

Susan reacted quickly and put a pillow in his back, to support him.

"I am sorry, must have dozed off. Never felt so exhausted in my life." Marcus apologized in earnest.

Susan smiled. "Stephen's sleeping pills had a kick in them. You couldn't help yourself, don't be sorry."

The door chime rang. "Wait a second." Susan was alert when the door opened. It was Stephen Franklin. The doctor had a concerned look on his face.

"Susan, what are these security guards doing here? Is something wrong?"

"Yes, Londo informed me that the Centauri responsible for torturing Marcus learnt of his escape and wants to... settle he score." Susan spoke so softly that Marcus couldn't hear.

Stephen understood the seriousness of the situation. "Hell, I hoped he could leave that all behind him." Stephen looked over at Marcus who was absent- mindedly rubbing his arm bandage. "Marcus, how are you feeling today?"

" Like a granat exploded in my brain, my head is throbbing and I am dizzy."

" Thanks for being honest, Marcus. It seems you are not healing as fast as normally."

"Give me some credit, Stephen. I...." He stopped short, embarrassed by the words he almost spoke aloud.

" Have been to hell and back." Susan finished the sentence for him. Marcus, not at ease, nodded.

"Did he sleep well?"

" He had trouble waking up."

Marcus raised his head. A hint of his old temper flared when he spoke. "Stop talking about me as if I am not here." The burst of energy subsided again.

"Sorry, Marcus. I like teasing you too much I am afraid." Stephen chuckled. Marcus' old fighting spirit was coming back. That was a good omen. He removed the eye bandage.

Susan shuddered. Marcus' eye was swollen and covered with dried up blood. It was hideous to look at.

Stephen cleaned and redressed the wound. He worked in silence, concentrating. " You will have to come in for some X-rays in two days to see if the fractured arm and ribs are healing nicely. I will leave some pain killers and sleeping pills which aren't as strong as you had before."

Marcus just stared at Stephen's face. Somehow his mind seemed paralyzed in a strange way. He couldn't pull away from the pain Rima had inflicted on him. He shifted his gaze to Susan. He had given up to comprehend why she was taking care of him. When he was back on his feet again, he would ask Delenn to be stationed somewhere far away from Babylon 5. He didn't want her pity. He wanted her, her love, and her soul.

" What are you thinking of, Marcus. You are spacing out on us." Susan had learned how to read his emotions in these last couple of hours.

"Nothing important.” Marcus didn't like the way they were teaming up against him.

"Well, I will leave you two alone now. You are in very capable hands, Marcus."

"You must be kidding." Marcus immediately regretted this slip of the tongue when he saw Susan's hurt glance. He wanted to take that hurt away when a loud explosion demanded their attention.

Susan's instincts took over; Rima. " Stephen, stay with Marcus." She deliberately didn't use Rima's name to avoid panic.

"What happened?" Marcus tried to stand, but his legs refused to co-operate.

"Stay in bed, Marcus. We will take care of it." Stephen pushed him back, avoiding hurting his ribs. A look of agony spread on Marcus’ face.

"It is Rima, he is here...You have to protect Susan, Stephen please." Marcus' voice trembled as he begged his friend to help Susan.

"Susan can take care of herself. You have to start thinking about your own health now. You are wounded; she isn't." Stephen muttered softly to Marcus, trying to relax him.

Susan raced towards the door. She used her hand communicator to get in touch with Michael. " Michael?" She heard only a lot of static coming through. Michael didn't answer. This was taking a turn for the worst. She extended the pike when the door opened. The corridor was filled with some kind of smoke. Michael and his men were coughing vehemently. A tall, grim faced Centauri made his way in to her quarters. She felt cold all of a sudden when she saw the horrible expression of cruelty in his eyes. She pulled herself together. She was a trained warrior.

" Get out of my way human. I want the ranger."

" Over my dead body."

"That can be arranged."

Rima sent chills up her spine.

 

Marcus reached for all the strength and will power left to him. He ignored Stephen. Susan was in peril. He wouldn't hesitate to give his life to save her. With a surge of superhuman energy, he got to his feet. He shoved Stephen aside so he could pass. Every step filled him with an intense pain. Somehow he managed to shut the pain out and shuffled to the living area. The last thing he expected to see was Susan using a Minbari pike to fight of Rima. He had to admit that she was doing a good job, wielding the pike. "Leave her alone, it is me you are after." Marcus had to reach for the wall to support himself. He heard Stephen coming up behind him.

Susan couldn't believe her eyes. What was he doing out of bed? She could handle this on her own. Reality hit hard the moment she became aware of his worry for her. ** He would die for me. **

" You compromised me, ranger. I lost my face when you survived. I have to correct that." With brutal force he struck the pike from Susan's hands. He gave her the cold shoulder when he stalked Marcus. The ranger didn't lower his gaze. He intended to die with dignity. He hoped Susan would forgive him.

" I will not allow you to kill my honored friend you murderer!" All of a sudden G'Kar and his men moved in on Rima. The Narns hated this torturer who had killed so many of their family and friends. It was time to get even. G'Kar flung himself at Rima, grabbing him, throwing him to the floor. They secured Rima quickly.

"Take him away. We will deal with this monster later." G'Kar turned his attention to Garibaldi who was desperately trying to gain control of this messy situation.

"Thank you G'Kar." Susan spoke from the heart.

"I consider it a honor to help you and Marcus. We will make sure Rima gets his punishment. It will be a great day of joy to the Narns when he dies." G'Kar bowed and accompanied by an embarrassed Michael left her quarters.

Susan was relieved nothing dangerous had happened to any of them.

Marcus' strength left him the moment they were alone again. His legs refused to carry him any longer and his fractured ribs were giving him hard time breathing. Stephen caught him when he fainted. He carried the ranger back to the bed and put him carefully down. Stephen measured his pulse.

"Stephen?" Susan was concerned.

"Sheer exhaustion, Susan. He wasn't up for this confrontation." Stephen pulled the blanket over Marcus' body. "Keep him in bed, no other walks then to the bathroom. Make sure he drinks enough; he's a bit dehydrated. "

" Rest assured, I will take care of him."

" I know. Call me if you need me, Susan." Stephen left her quarters.

Susan filled a glass of water and went over to Marcus. "Marcus, wake up."

Marcus gained consciousness while Susan traced the outline of his cheeks with her fingers.

"You would die for me, wouldn't you?" Susan was tired of the game they were playing. They would talk once Marcus’ mental state had improved. Marcus let her question sink into his mind. In his current state he wasn't capable of lying. "Yes..." Marcus avoided her eyes.

"You should drink this, doctors orders." Susan slid her hand under his neck to support his hand while drinking. She lowered his head back on to the pillow.

"Is ... Rima... is he gone...?" Marcus searched the room.

"G'Kar took him prisoner. Rima will never hurt you again. I promise. Do you want a pain killer?" Susan reached for the pills.

"No, I... can cope." Marcus was afraid she would ask him again why he would die for her.

" Somehow I doubt that is the truth."

Susan put a pill in his hand and waited until he had swallowed the medicine. Marcus tried to refuse the medicine, but the look she gave him told him this wasn't up for discussion. Susan totally surprised him when she lay down next to him on the bed.

"Marcus, promise me you will recover."

"A strange request. I figured you would be glad if I weren't around to annoy you. You told me so many times to get lost."

"I am not telling you to get lost now, am I?"

"No, you are not. But I don't want your pity." Marcus was lost, looking in to those magic eyes. He was under her spell. She bewitched him.

She didn't respond to his accusation. She was trying to figure out what the next step should be. "Perhaps it would make you feel better when you told me what happened on the Centauri ship."

"No, don't make me do that." Marcus' mind raced back in time. He shook when he remembered how trapped he had been.

"All right, then tell me something else." ** Such panic in his eyes, such pain**

" What do you want to know?" He hoped she would go easy on him. He was in no shape to defend him.

"Do you want your present back?" From one of her pockets she drew out the seashell.

He was astonished. The plain chain had been replaced with a valuable silver necklace. "I am sorry I lost it. I failed you."

She placed it in his left hand. "Don't blame yourself constantly! You are not responsible for being kidnapped by that goon." Susan's temper showed. "I just realized something. Shouldn't your ladylove know what has happened to you?"

Alarm seized him. He didn’t' t expect the changed subject. "No, she... doesn’t know...I love her." He mumbled, unsure. He closed his eye.

"Why don't you tell her?" Susan took pity on him and continued her line of questioning. "Whoever she is, she is damned lucky to have you as her admirer. You are honest, a gentleman. You are easy to love." She stopped at the sight of a tear on his cheek. "You are crying, Marcus, why? "

"I can' t tell you." Marcus felt how she broke down all his defenses.

Susan saw it too. She decided to go all the way. "When did you fall in love with her?" Susan moved around the bed. Despair appeared in his expression. He was losing and he knew it.

Marcus' voice wavered. "Since the first moment I saw her. It was love at first sight."

Susan wanted to take his pain away. He was afraid she would laugh at his feelings. " Do I know her? I envy her, you know."

Marcus wished Rima had killed him moments ago. This was a different kind of torture and the woman he loved and adored was inflicting this pain. "Yes."

Susan saw that he tried to raise his defenses once more. She had to prevent that. Why hadn't she paid not more attention to their conversations; the way he acted around her? " Marcus, please look at me." She kneeled beside the bed and took his left hand into hers.

Marcus forced himself to look at her. The soft look in her eyes baffled him.

"Marcus, are you in love with me?"

His heart missed a beat and he stared at her. He was speechless. Susan read the answer on his face. Marcus couldn't answer her. This was too much. He couldn't handle this!

"Marcus, I meant it when I said you are easy to love. I... somewhere along the road I fell in love with you. I would like to give us a chance, if you want to try..."Susan smiled kindly. She tried to read the stupor, which had befallen him.

Did she really say that she loved him? Impossible! This had to be a result from the drugs. He was hallucinating. When he woke, this would be all over.

Susan saw his disbelief. She had never seen such a queer expression on his face. Then he started to laugh bitterly. Susan realized he was laughing at himself. " Marcus..." Susan had to act quickly.

" This is just a dream. When I wake everything will be back to normal."

Susan held his hand. This had been too much for him to handle. But she was sure all he needed was time. "We will talk later, Marcus. Sleep now, love." She was surprised that word came out so easy.

Marcus still was in a state of shock. He wished this were happening in reality. He no longer fought and he drifted in to sleep.

 

Marcus woke after several hours of deep, natural sleep. This bed was far too soft to be his. Slowly, his memory returned. He remembered Rima, Vir, Stephen and Susan taking care of him. It had been one long dreadful nightmare to him. A body moved, cuddled up next to him. He turned his head, Susan was lying next to him, and she was sleeping. Why was she here, so close to him? Marcus couldn't resist touching her. With his left hand he caressed Susan's face. She would never know how many times he had dreamt about waking up finding her in his arms. He yawned; sleep was only releasing him slowly. Deciding not to be a burden to her any longer, he tried to get to his feet. He wanted to go to his own quarters.

Susan felt the movement and her alarms woke her. "Marcus, stay in bed!" Susan pulled him back.

Marcus was trying to figure out what was happening here. " You know. I had the craziest dream ever." Marcus tried to hide his emotions, using humor as a shield.

" Let me guess, I told you I loved you." Susan played along. He was not getting out of this one this easily.

Marcus was stunned. Was this actually happening?

" It was no dream. I love you, Cole.” Susan moved closer to him. Her fingers traced the back of his neck.

" Are you serious?" Marcus had a hard time believing her.

She kissed him with a passion that surprised her. This man drove her crazy.

When she let go of his lips, Marcus was convinced. ** She kissed me, that can only mean she loves me. ** "I... love you too...I did the first time we met...so beautiful and strong." Marcus was working up enough courage to get through this. The way she eyed him was enough to make him mad. A blush spread on her face. Her eyes were on fire.

"Why didn't you tell me, Marcus? Did you.... fear me?" Susan played with a curl of his hair.

"I was scared you would reject my love. You told me quite often not to bother you. I was a pain in the arse as you liked to put it. That didn't encourage me to tell you my deepest feelings." Marcus felt the soft touch of her fingers.

"I know. I acted like a shrew. I should have seen right through it all." Susan fell silent. How was it possible that she had ignored this man for so long? She kissed him again. A wave of emotions swept her from her feet. This was magic. Weakly, he responded to her kiss, his hand caressed her skin. But because of the movement his ribs started to hurt again. He gasped for air. "This is too taxing on your body. I promise we will go all the way when you are better." Susan released him and got out of bed, a bit reluctant. This felt so good.

"Susan?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate lying here like this...on the Centauri ship they had me...chained to the bed... would you help me to the sofa?" These words were not easily said and Marcus peeked at her reaction, feeling uncomfortable, like a target.

At first, Susan wanted to say no, but the wounded look he gave her made her change her mind. "I will help you."

The ringing of the door chime stopped Susan. " I have to answer that. You stay in bed!" Susan recalled how he had stood; facing Rima and her heart went out to him.

Marcus nodded; he wasn't able to walk alone. He needed the support.

Susan walked to the door and when it opened Delenn and Sheridan appeared. " Captain, Ambassador." She was surprised to see them here.

" I assume you did not expect our visit. We can return later, if you wish." Delenn smiled gently. She had heard of Rima's capture and Marcus' self-sacrificing offer.

" No, please enter. I was just going to move Marcus to the couch." A naughty look spread on her face.

" Can I assist you?" John knew that smile and was glad he was not her victim. Poor Marcus.

" Yes." Susan gestured him to follow her.

Marcus felt trapped when Sheridan and Delenn showed up. The one good thing about their visit was that Susan had to behave herself now. At least he hoped she would. He tried to bow to Delenn, giving her the respect she earned as Ranger One. 

Delenn realized his intention and stopped him. "No ceremonial required, Marcus. Please do not strain yourself."

"John, give me a hand?" Susan pushed the wheel chair to the bed. Delenn and Sheridan saw his look of discomfort.

Marcus was shocked when Sheridan carefully gathered him in his arms and seated him in the wheel chair. This was embarrassing to him. "Captain, I can manage. There is no need for you to help..."

"Shut up, Marcus. You need the help, just accept it and don't make a fuss about it.” Susan grinned wickedly.

Marcus was silenced. Susan wheeled him to the couch. Marcus considered resistance, but dismissed the idea. Susan Ivanova was in charge. He said nothing when Sheridan and Susan gently lay him on the sofa. With some dismay he realized he was still wearing clothes from Medlab. He hated being treated as a patient.

" Would you like some coffee or tea?" Susan went to her kitchen unit.

"Some coffee would be nice." Sheridan couldn't help smiling at Marcus' discomfort. He liked the ranger. Sheridan knew men like Marcus were hard to find. Marcus was hero material.

Delenn followed Susan to the kitchen. The two of them didn't talk that much but sometimes they confided in each other. Delenn trusted her and asked her advice quite often, concerning human affairs, feelings.

Susan on the other hand saw in Delenn the only female friend she had.

" Susan, may I ask you something?"

"Yes.” Susan started the coffeemaker and the hot water for Marcus' tea. Michael had sent her some Earl Grey, the blend Marcus was so fond of.

" How are things with you and Marcus? Michael told me that the two of you were getting closer." Delenn hoped she wasn't too 'nosey' as John put it.

Susan smiled patiently. In the end John and Delenn were bound to find out the truth. " While he was ill from the drugs, he told me he loved me. I had to be honest to myself, so I told him I loved him too. It was hard on both of us, confessing our feelings.“

" So you two are an ' item ' now?" Delenn had heard that strange expression when Michael reported to John.

" Yes, I guess you can say that."

" I am glad. You both were lonely. So I assume he will not be a 'unicorn-boy' for much longer." Delenn chuckled when she saw Susan's reaction. Susan had used that word to tease Marcus.

"How did you know that?"

"Lennier heard you calling Marcus a unicorn-boy. He told me."

" When he has recovered I will make sure we will get rid off that unicorn. In a relationship, three is a crowd." Susan smiled, they both laughed.

 

Marcus disliked being left alone with the Captain this way. Sheridan kept on grinning. Marcus was getting nervous. His temper got the better of him. "What! What are you so smugly grinning about? "

" You did it, you made Susan defrost. You are in big trouble but I don't need to tell you that. I know who will be wearing the pants in this relationship." Sheridan's smile broadened even more. 

Marcus needed all his willpower to retain his dignity. "Bugger, does everyone know? How fast does the news spread on Babylon 5?"

"Only the good news gets around so fast. Relax, Marcus. I know there are a lot of people out there having bets running on how long it would take for you two to get together. As a matter of fact, Delenn and G'Kar won, they picked the same month."

Marcus whimpered in agony. His life would never be the same again. Thankfully he saw the two women coming over. Sheridan would have to stop interrogating him. But his smile froze when he saw Delenn's laughing eyes; more trouble to come.

Delenn sat down next to Sheridan, handing him the coffee. Marcus fervently hoped Susan would keep some distance. His hope was shattered to pieces when she sat down. She placed his mug of tea on the table and took possession of his hand, softly caressing his fingers. He nearly choked. He had never thought Susan would express her feelings for him so openly.

"We could go out on a double date, when you are feeling better, Marcus."

Marcus nearly spat out his tea when he heard Delenn's proposal.

" Great idea, darling." Sheridan hoped things would work out for Susan and Marcus.

Marcus remained silent during their little chat about double dates. He fell tired and struggled to stay awake. It would be insulting when he fell asleep while Delenn was present. At some point however he lost his fight and slipped in to sleep. Delenn and Sheridan lowered their voices.

Susan felt his head resting on her shoulder. "He’s exhausted. Stephen would be mad as hell if he knew I let Marcus out of bed."

"We will leave, let him get some rest. Take some time off, Susan. Corwin is actually learning what his job is all about now you are not there. Besides, Marcus needs you." Sheridan watched the ranger sleep for a moment. 

"Thanks, John. Before you leave, could you do me one more favor?"

Sheridan and Susan moved Marcus in to a lying position. At once his breathing became more easily. Delenn and Sheridan left, both feeling content that their closest friends had found true love.

Susan watched Marcus sleep. Delenn had told her once about a Minbari ritual. The male slept and the female watched to learn his true face. To Susan Marcus' true face was breath- taking.

 

The end


End file.
